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The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug is (was) on TV, and as much as I love this movie and the damn dragon he unfortunately falls victim to the number one Foiler of Evil Plans; monologuing.

I swear if these movie villains would just shut the fuck up and act sooner they would get so much more shit done :iconwhywouldffffplz:
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Master of Chaos by The-Aziz
"Why hello, my pint-sized purple nemesis. I was wondering if you would ever find your way here."
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Twilight is not amused by dasprid
"............did I leave the oven on?"
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Discord: You! by Critchleyb
"-watch helplessly as your whole world falls into chaos! After that's done with, I'll-"
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How in Equestia did she do that ? by awesomeluna
"I made lasagna this morning and took it out around 10..."
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Discord by NinjamissenDk
"-and there's nothing you can do to stop me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
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Mad Twilight by Korsoo
"Damnit. I did leave the oven on."
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Discord : time to be cruel by Kooner-cz
"EXCUSE ME. I have been practicing this speech for a week! Are you even listening to me?!"
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Princess Demandy Pants by Mehoep-flipped by grievousfan:iconemptyspaceplz::iconemptyspaceplz:Vector: Discord 27 by EStories
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Princess Twilight in Flight by TheShadowStone:iconemptyspaceplz::iconemptyspaceplz::iconemptyspaceplz:Discord Statue by Emper24
"Phew. Good thing crystal palaces don't burn."
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Discord Statue by Emper24  Hooded Tirek Shrugging by Jeatz-Axl
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:iconlordsiravant:
lordsiravant Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Heroes are often just as bad about monologues. Look at Twilight: she'll talk any villain's ear off about the power of friendship. The best time for anyone, good or evil, to monologue is when your foe is unable to act while you're talking, or unable to stop whatever action you're gloating about having put into effect.
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:iconmirandathepanda:
MirandaThePanda Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016
Tirek be all like "Get it together man!"
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:iconanimatorsnake:
Animatorsnake Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016
You can't be a true villain without a monologue, if you don't then your just a douche who attacks for no damn reason. That's how the evil life works, deal with it
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:iconcaptaindaft:
CaptainDaFt Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016
But there's a time and place for everything.
Delivering an evil monologue to the UN or world wide via satellite, Good.
Delivering monologue in the middle of a battle, giving the hero time to destroy you, Bad.
Delivering your evil monologue as a posthumous biography detailing how you achieved victory via evil, best!
Good example here: drboli.com/2015/11/01/the-crim…
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:iconanimatorsnake:
Animatorsnake Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2016
The one where monologuing in a battle, only villains who are OP but cocky, or won before the battle even began kind of types would do this, that's what I know of course from different shows and stuff
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:iconcaptaindaft:
CaptainDaFt Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2016
Of course, the silliest thing is that the villain is of course a scheming, lying deceitful character... That always tells the hero exactly what he's scheming during a monologue, or if the hero simply asks him.

Hero: And what is your nefarious scheme?
Villain: To wield the Mcguffin of power, binding the unholy forces in thrall at the stroke of midnight on the next full moon at seven pm EDT, and bring the World to it's knees! >evil laugh<
BZZT! wrong answer! Try:

Villain:I have discovered a way to use the mcguffin of power to provide clean, limitless electricity to  the World for free! >innocent face< Why else would I want it?
Hero: Uhh, OK, sorry, apparently I've misjudged your intentions here. Carry on then.
Villain: :)
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:iconanimatorsnake:
Animatorsnake Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016
Your example for this comment, is perfect, excellent work
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is why my main villain Atlas makes his speeches short, and keeps the long ones for when his foes are at gun point.
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:icongrievousfan:
grievousfan Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Student General Artist
Even when they're at gunpoint the guy talking could give the hero time to ninja the gun out of his hand and turn it on him >:I
because for real, every hero knows karate moves or some shit nowadays

I'm writing three villains :V Two of them are part of this mythos and don't fucking monologue but Anarchy really likes the sound of his own voice and is more prone to be a victim of hubris.
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*laughs* Not my heroes. Plus he's not stupid enough to let them keep their guns or have only two or three guns at them. Oh no, he has a full squad of elite soldiers holding them down. 
plus he's already too damn intimidating for anyone sane to actually challenge him. Fucker is like Bruce Lee, Star Killer, Muhammad Ali(RIP), Mad Max, Darth Vader with the personality of Discord.

Is Anarchy the third out of the mythos? If not, who is the third?
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:icongrievousfan:
grievousfan Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Student General Artist
Sensible villains. "I'm going to monologue but first I'm going to take the hero's fucking gun and have a firing squad aim at his head."

In this headcanon Discord is the fourth Chaos and Anarchy's the fifth/most recent; the third one is Hodgpodge who is the only one who turned out nice without all that reformation business :V
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sarcasm detected!
At least Atlas has the guts to personally challenge all of his enemies... assuming they survive his soldiers or traps. Atlas is actually pretty sadistic and loves a good fight. So if you manage to reach him (one, good fucking job), he'll then toss you a sword and initiate a duel with him.

Hodgpodge, doesn't that mean like a combination of junk piled together? (NOT DISSING YOUR CHARACTER)
So I imagine the first two chaos's are the wisest of the bunch and less likely to fall victim to hubris?
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:icongrievousfan:
grievousfan Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Student General Artist
I like these villains who don't run to the trusty Escape Pod when the hero reaches them. Like, "yes I'm an evil bastard but momma didn't raise no fool coward. COME AT ME, BRO".
Does Atlas give the hero a choice of weapons or does he just hand them a sword or whatever? :V

First Chaos was Eris who was a possessive and vengeful bitch, the second Chaos was Bedlam who was...not exactly an upstanding citizen. They were both egomaniacs but when evil deeds needed doing they wouldn't let their ego get in the way. None of this hiding the tools of their demise and hoping the heroes wouldn't find them, they'd just outright destroy them or otherwise make them unreachable.
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh please, Atlas doesn't know what Escape Pod is! Because he's in post-apocalyptic America... hehehe. But he isn't stupid enough to stick around if he knows he can't win... then again, he has yet to loose...
also he had no parents, his family was a group of six girls who acted as his sisters and mentors... till a group of raiders murdered them and he became the horrible monstrosity he is now...
By choice of weapon, he'll offer them a plephera of blades to choose from. Such as daggers, short sword, curved blade, broad sword, greatsword etc. However he believes that firearms are best suited for warfare, assassination or for group fights, but a proper duel should be handled with CQC weapons.
Though he may allow a melee weapon paired with a firearm, IF he does the same. He's not a cheater, he's just naturally the most gifted swordsman in all the wasteland.

So they basically believed they were indestructible and couldn't be bested?
Did that inevitably lead to their destruction?
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:icongrievousfan:
grievousfan Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2016  Student General Artist
I swear there's some trope that's something like "Pussies Use Guns" but I can't find it
So this group of raiders murdered Atlas' family. Did he go out and hunt them down already and now he stays in this one place accepting challenges from heroes who break into his house? Why do they come into his house anyway? :V
"Yo bro there's some dude with this sweet armory we should go steal some shit"
"Okay bro let's go"

"Horrible monstrosity bent on revenge" sounds a lot like Bedlam, jus' sayin'.
Well...Eris was slighted and that threw her into a fit of rage that resulted in the war briefly detailed  over here, and that's how she died.
Bedlam went mad with paranoia that the current Harmony was going to overthrow him and that resulted in some not-so-smart decisions which resulted in his death.
Threw caution to the winds, more like.
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(1 Reply)
:iconvraptor140:
Vraptor140 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Guess they needed something to stretch the runtime. 
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:icondj-applej-sound:
DJ-AppleJ-Sound Featured By Owner Edited Jun 5, 2016  Student General Artist
I highly recommend to read the book. Smaug in the movies is a stupid raptile and in the book he is represented as wise dragon.
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:icondangercloseart:
DangerCloseArt Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
But then there wouldn't be a story if the villain won so soon! XD

But yea, it's a pretty common trope. I liked how in Kingsman they directly mocked it, by cutting the monologue incredibly short and *spoiler inserted here*. It certainly caught me off guard when watching it. 
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:iconwidowpeak:
WidowPeak Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Hobbyist
I do believe in the book, he did not monologue.
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:iconcaptaindaft:
CaptainDaFt Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016
Any Evil Villain that aspires to true nefariousness always consults the manual first! ;) (Wink) 
www.eviloverlord.com/lists/ove…
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:icongrievousfan:
grievousfan Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016  Student General Artist
"If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature."

lul
I just finished playing Ocarina of Time and this could've saved SO much trouble :lol:
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:iconthatrandomnerd:
ThatRandomNerd Featured By Owner Edited Jun 4, 2016  Professional Artist
You act as if this is new or something people don't already notice.
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:icontearahk:
Tearahk Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
This is true. I notice it more and more. than and the whole "I'm not gunna do that cliche" cliche. Like, self reference is great, but when EVERYONE seems to want to do it for a cheap laugh, it becomes monotonous at some point. 
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:iconfoxboy24:
foxboy24 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2016
This is why I liked Syndrome as a villain in The Incredibles he lampshades the whole evil monologuing thing at Mr. Incredible when he gets him to do it. 
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:icontearahk:
Tearahk Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, I liked that too. the heroes had to infer a lot of his plans from information they got around them, which is a nice change of pace. ^_^ 
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